My Life In Music

How Was It For You?

2007-12-20T00:11:00.000+01:00

So 2007....

New places I went to
- Transylvania- if only for a few hours. Won't go back to Romania again so this was my last chance to get out of Bucharest and see something else.
- Colorado- cold. And if you don't have the air con you get static electricity shocks off the lightswiches
- Las Vegas- a place where you get vodka and coke for a dollar, all kids are banned from the important areas and you can play computer poker. When can I go back?
- Hamburg- so lucky with the weather- was over 30 degrees all weekend. I loved it, so much to do, so much more cosmopolitan and multicultural compared to where I live, so big...

Great things that happened this year:
- Going to the US and seeing my sisters. It was particularly cute to see the littlest one getting on so well with the boyf.
- Rugby!!! Great weekend in St.Gallen and we won the 2nd division again. Started playing 15s in the top division.
- Glastonbury. Special highlight was Glenn Tilbrook on Friday night in the Leftfield Tent, in particular the sing-a-long version of Black Coffee In Bed
- Meeting Paul Merton. And Tim Burgess.
- Seeing Prince in concert finally. At the O2 in London which was spectacular. Screamed so much when he played 1999, I'm not sure how I had any voice
- The Scissor Sisters in concert- top quality fun. That whole weekend was pretty damn great actually
- Learning to use hotwax. Having armpits like a 7 year old again is wonderful. Shame it only lasts around 2 weeks.
- Leaving my job. Yes I may not have found another job but I really am so much happier without it.
- My wonderful friends. And I've really learnt this year who they are.

Not so good things:
- the late year run of breaking things (camera, earrings, glasses)
- the depression that's accompanied me not working. And the loneliness. Normally both are manageable but things got a bit too much for me in November and I had to get out of here. The guys
- vegan cheese!!!!
- not being well- I seem to have had a cold on and off for most of the autumn . And I got that wonderful rash all over my jaw and neck that affected me at Glasto....
- finding out who my friends really aren't. Helping people and getting absolutely zero in return.

New Years Resolution:
- Not to be so trusting, helpful and open with people, especially those I've just met to avoid getting hurt and just being used. I'm too nice sometimes and I need to stop going out of my way to help people when I should be helping myself a bit more.
- Decide really and truly what to do with my life and change situations that I am not happy about
- Accept the things I can't change and change the things I can
- Do more Vegan Weeks again
- Lose weight, get fit, yadda yadda yadda

Happiness And Joy

2007-12-19T18:48:00.000+01:00

Today's posting was going to be the annual round up but I've had quite a nice

Firstly I had a relatively pain free experience at the unemployment office here. I didn't spend any money, I resisted buying naughty drinks and when I got home after 11am I felt so full of energy that I started cleaning my flat. I cleaned my bedroom (dragging the drawers out from the wall to get rid of the dust behind it) did some ironing, and I finally got round to finishing the year long process of copying all my videos on to DVD which meant I could have a bit of a sing a long with Paul Weller as I was cleaning.

Then I went down to see my friend Elena and her little boy to give him his Christmas present. I had a great time playing cars with him and wiping his nose because . I got his Crimbo pressie right too- turns out he loves Bob The Builder so I got that right. He is really gorgeous, he's going to be such a heartbreaker when he's older. He's got really blonde hair that sticks up all around the front. At one point I told his mum that I was going to steal him and take him with me to England for Christmas and pretend to the outlaws that he was mine and the boyf's... hee hee hee

I felt so Christmassy walking from Elena's to my next destination, Hoey's to drop off her Christmas present. It was nice and chilly outside, lots of people have lights in their windows as I walking along and I felt so happy after seeing my two buddies and there was a bloke outside a supermarket dressed as Santa powering one of those hand turned wooden piped music boxes

And it is my oldest friend's 30th today. Trying to get hold of her on the phone. This means that my 30th is not too far away. Oh shit.

The only sad thing about today is that it is 7 years since we tragically lost Kirsty MacColl. RIP. If you've never heard her do me a favour and download (legally please!) or buy her last and best album- Tropical Brainstorm. Magic from beginnning to end.

I'll Give It To Someone Special

2007-12-10T23:28:00.000+01:00

I want to be whisked away to a log cabin somewhere high up in the mountains with snow falling heavily outside, a roaring fire to dance to Wham! and The Pogues.

Hello? Is it me your looking for?

2007-11-27T01:50:00.000+01:00

Um. So yeah. Like hi. Long time no 'speak'. Hope all is well with whoever may be reading this.

So I have left this a very long time, to the point that I was considering dropping my blog alltogether. But I will persevere. For the moment anyway.

What's good for me to tell you about? Rugby is going well- we started playing 15s and aren't doing too badly considering. Almost got hypothermia after some stupid people decided they wanted us to play in a fucking hailstorm (!!!) a few weeks back and on the same day got a whack around the nose to the point where I thought it was broken. Everything is on track relationship wise which makes me very happy and I am lucky to have some good friends around too. I'm not sure I appreciate either of these enough though. And of course my continuous pride and joy- my little sisters.

On the downside- I really haven't been feeling myself at all lately. I won't go too much into the details. It's all very complicated. But if you live near me and fancy taking me out for a drink sometime I would appreciate it muchly. Or just drop me a line sometime soon and tell me how much you care about me- that helps too :)

Normal service will resume soon.

It's The Time Of The Season

2007-09-05T01:27:00.000+02:00

Another blog from the safety and comfort of my bed. What bliss. I am also accompanied by the lovely Christopher Eccleston. Sadly he is in digital format and steadfastly refuses to leave Doctor Who which is currently playing and join me sub-duvet.

So I had to do a google search for today's blog title/lyric cos it's all about zombies* and I absolutely refuse to have anything to do with the godawful Cranberries. The Rach and I went to the cinema tonight to see 28 Weeks Later (follow up to 28 Days Later, starring the delectable Cillian Murphy) which has finally come out on the cinema here. I love the first film- utter genius with some breathtaking shots and the aforementioned Christopher is in it too- and while the second one wasn't as good as the first one, it's still fabulous. They make use of what feels like most of Central London as a movie set, the main actors are all very good, ther. e's a couple of jumpy bits, buckets of blood and even I had to close my eyes at a particularly gruesome part. The Rach and I had a good giggle at their liberal usage of London geography too. Anyway- comes highly recommended, especially if you liked the first one.

* Okay, okay, before any other movie geek pulls me up on it, I know that technically the 28... films are not zombie films because it's a transmittable virus that causes them to be in that state, rather than death followed by reanimation. However, they remain zombie in spirit, splatter and appeal.

Party Over, Oops Out Of Time

2007-08-30T11:01:00.000+02:00

hello all, long time no blog and all that.

Reason being that life feels pretty boring nowadays. Unemployment is slowly losing it's novelty and I really need to start deciding what I should be doing from now on. It's starting to demotivate me and make feel not all that happy. It's still better than working and I know that my decision to leave my previous job was the right one. As long as I keep telling myself this I should be alright!

It shouldn't be- this month I've been to Hamburg for a long weekend (loved it, would love to live there) and I just got back from a weekend in London which was just amazing. The boyfriend got us tickets to see Prince in concert which was indescribably good and I was so shocked when he played some of my favourite Prince songs (1999 and Kiss) but he only did one encore as apparently loads of people were leaving during his last song which pissed him off so no Raspberry Beret, When Doves Cry or Gett Off. We also did some shopping in London and went to the British Museum and a tour of the House of Commons. We hung out with my family and it was sunny the whole time. This is also not contributing to my low level of happiness factor right now.

Rugby training has started with a vengeance but I couldn't be arsed to go last night. I had a very valid reason- my little toe on my left foot is all messed up. I'm used to getting blisters on the bottom of my feet but not on the top and side of a toe. At least I think it is a blister because the little bumps are full of liquid but they've also gone slightly red. It's really sensitive too and doesn't like being in shoes.

Anyway, enough of my medical problems. I need to get out of bed and start doing things and getting organised (oh yes, that's my other news, on my last official day in my old job I decided to invest in a new laptop. Her name is Louloubelle and she is gorgeous and allows me to blog and watch DVDs from the safety of my bed. Blissssssssssss)

We've Got To Shift These Colour TVs

2007-07-31T22:54:00.001+02:00

People who've seen me in the last few months have probably heard my 3 favourite telly moments. I have now found links to two of them online:

1. Miss Piggy and Billy Crystal re-enacting *that* scene from When Harry Met Sally. I started to think that maybe I'd dreamed this because it's just so fecking funny and could not work out why it wasn't on YouTube. Now it is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4O0ftwqZn4 forward to 3 minutes 40 seconds

2. Jarvis Cocker on Shooting Stars doing a 'pulling' question on Shooting Stars. Just take a look at it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXFfyTz1NEE

If I ever find number 3 online to share with you all I will die happy. I found it recently on one of my videos but the quality is appalling. Back in about 1991, Comic Relief decided to do a competition for kids to write a pop song about one of the issues they raise money for and the grand prize was you would get to record your song, perform it on Going Live and be on Smash Hits too. To publicise this, Going Live did a film about it asking 'pop stars' like Take That, East 17 and Betty Boo for advice about how they go about writing a song interspersed with clips from everyone's favourite comedians- Trevor and Simon. The bit where they are doing songs as The Singing Corner in the style of other people is pure genius. See if you can guess what the songs are from my depiction below:

"Erotic, erotic, la la la la la la la la. E-rot-ic, E-rot-ic run your fingers through my beard"
"My name is prince/ the one and only/ My name is prince/ I'm a little bit funky/sha la la la la la la la la"
"Rhythm is a dancer/come and swing your pants-ah/Sha la la la la la la la la"

As I said pure genius

It's Been A Long Time

2007-07-26T18:36:00.000+02:00

So at the request of my many thousands of readers (read gayboy) who've been patiently awaiting an update- here you go. There's too many things to cover so I'm going to have to do this in point styley:

- At the end of May I turned 25. Oh alright, I turned 29. Not particularly happy about it but then there's not much I can really do to stop it.
- I dragged the boyf to his first Glastonbury. It rained a lot so it was wet and muddy and apart from a drunken mishap caused by someone else on the last night it was completely brilliant. Particular highlights: Gareth Jones doing escape from cling film (again!) which I caught on video, Glenn Tilbrook singing Black Coffee In Bed late on Friday night with all of us in the audience doing the backing music, meeting a buddy from the internet for cider, meeting Tim Burgess. Roll on next year!!!
- The infamous Heather is here from the US with two friends. My flat is a little squashed and now they're off in Paris but we're having fun.

And now the big news. I am no longer working. I finished at my office on the 29th of June and am on vacation till the end of July. From the 1st of August I'm with a transfer company who help find us jobs and sort out our CVs etc. That lasts for 6 months and I get 80% of my salary whilst doing it. I haven't decided what I'm doing yet but I am quite content to take the time and the financial help to make that decision.

Tied To The 90's

2007-06-04T00:52:00.000+02:00

I can't remember if I've posted this or not:

How you know you experienced the 90's
1) You once used Wella Plum mousse or Sun In in your hair that you thought was totally original and stylish
2) You thought blue mascara looked good on EVERYONE
3) You could do or tried to do the Prodigy step
4) You owned or longed for an Adidas three stripe tracksuit
5) You owned a compilation tape with TOP TUNES such as "Mr Vain", "What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer" on it
6) Hour long debates on who was better? East 17 or Take That
7) You judged a girl on who she fancied from Take That! (Robbie: you were cool, Gary Barlow: you were not!)
8) For all you die hard East 17 fans: "Outside it's raining, inside it's wet!"
9) You owned a pair of Nike Air Max
10) Going into town with £5, getting the bus there and back, lunch and a top with it!
11) Running on the spot dancing!
12) You wore leggings/cycling shorts with long t-shirts
13) You owned a Bennetton / NafNaf / Ton sur Ton jumper
14) You owned scrunchies in an array of colours
15) You went to or dreamed about going to a Smash Hits concert
16) You bought Smash Hits for the song lyrics and the immense amount of stickers that you would stick everywhere!
17) You had a pen pal
18) You watched Sweet Valley High after school
19) Then on a Saturday afternoon you watched Catchphrase, Gladiators, Generation Game, Noels House Party and then Casualty
20) You wore black opaque tights with a wrap round skirt
21) Just 17 and More magazines had the best problem pages
22) 10p crisps!
23) A grey Fruit of the Loom jumper was a must have
24) Sharkie & George were the crime busters of the sea
25) Puffa jackets
26) You used the line "it's a free country" every day
27) Do the Bartman "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything"
28) Impulse body spray
29) Woodies alco pops were the best thing EVER!
30) Don't forget your toothbrush and Big Breakfast with Chris Evans
31) You had at least one troll
32) You know the dance to Macarena and Saturday Night. You also tried to scat like Scatman John!
33) You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie & Shauna got together! You fancied Eddie (Billy Warlock) too!
34) You watched Byker Grove
35) You went into Body Shop to put on Vanilla or White Musk perfumes
36) Shellsuits & bumbags!
37) You longed to live in Beverley Hills 90210
38) Fruit shaped soaps that usually came from Body Shop for your birthdays 39) You owned the TLC album
40) Fruit salads and black jacks!
41) Strike it lucky on a Sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he was straight & married
42) Chain letters 43) You had fake ID

Ask Yourself This Question

2007-05-30T21:53:00.000+02:00

- Is it sad to be excited to spend 40 minutes tomorrow in Cologne station because of the good food and shopping opportunities?
- When will this bloody cough go?
- Will my plants continue to thrive over the weekend while I am away?
- Is it too late to phone the bride and groom or will they be panicking about the nuptial event on Saturday?
- Why do I continue to have skin like a teenager?
- About 60% of my friends on Facebook are 'met randomly'- is that sad?
- Where is my tax print out from last year?
- Is 28 Weeks Later going to be on at the cinema oop north so can I watch it this long weekend?
- Where is Fabuleuse?
- Will everything go wrong because- OMG- Hazey takes a few days off from the office?

This Summer We've Pulled All The Sheets Off The Bed

2007-05-21T22:11:00.000+02:00

Brain engages mouth
Mouth expresses thoughts
Of how we shared those fun fair rides
Beneath the darkness of the night
Time can crowd the head
Like a sardine can
The summer that began to blur
Has put us on the calendar

This summer there won't be a cloud in the sky
I'm so made up I feel I could take off and fly
This summer we've pulled all the sheets off the bed
I'm so happy I can't get you out of my head
This summer I am so in love with you

Mornings pass us by
As curtains hide the sun
Nights we spent out of control
Like two flags wrapped around a pole

I see the helter skelter lights
And hear the music in the breeze
And when we're skimming stones tonight
It feels so good that you're with me

This summer there won't be a cloud in the sky
I'm so made up I feel I could take off and fly
This summer we've pulled all the sheets off the bed
I'm so happy I can't get you out of my head
There's no reason to ever feel lonely again
This summer I am so in love with you

What's The Story (no Morning Glory)?

2007-05-07T20:37:00.000+02:00

Whoops. I managed to forget my logon name hence no posting for a while.

In the meantime:
- I have been to the Wasen and got shockingly, disgustingly drunk. We think it was around 4 and a half masses. I made up lots of songs but they all had the same tune (Brown Girl In The Ring). My favourite was about Geekboy and went "Geekboy and mini Geekboy- Sha La La La La La" repeat ad infinitum
- I went to see Spiderman 3 at the first showing at our local cinema and I enjoyed it muchly. Tobey Maguire is really rather nice....
- My rugby team was crowned champions after we won our final two games in our league at the weekend and we go through to the final (which I will miss because it clashes with Glastonbury). I recorded about 50 seconds of one of our games and it's got some good action on it-check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHp7nobDe0A
- I have lizards that run around on my terrace!

And Don't It Feel Good?!

2007-04-24T22:34:00.000+02:00

We had a wonderful rugby weekend last weekend. After training on Friday Nats and I headed down to the Irish pub for a pint or two and to meet Hoey who had some friends over from England and upon leaving the pub heading back to my place (sans one of Hoey's friends) we found the jacket potato place that Kezza had told us about a few weeks before so that was dinner sorted.

After waking up at some godforsaken hour, getting lost on the outer Munich ring road and slathering myself in factor 50 sun cream against the 28 degree heat we went out on to the pitch for our two games of 10-a-side rugger. We played a tough game against our hosts and eventually won it 29-5. I didn't play because we were too many but I did get to play the first half of the second game which we won 62-5!!!! I felt really good when I came off the pitch (although a bit shattered due to the heat) as I thought I'd played quite well, an analysis confirmed by our trainer who told me that that was the best game I'd ever played!!!! Nats later told me that he was stood next to her on the sidelines and he kept saying "who's that running all over the place? Oh wow it's Hazey!" We had a couple of lineouts and my fellow lifter and I got our liftee really quite high up, she was no heavier than a feather. The only downside was our friend Schlumpf going off with a serious knee injury just before the half time whistle and even that's not 100% negative- she had such a blinding game and a half that she was voted player of the tournament. Upshot of this is- we qualify for the next part of the competition with one tournament left in 2 weeks time, we can lose both of those games and still qualify- yay!

Then on Sunday we went to watch our boys play and win their league too, thrashing their opponents 72-0! Their coach told me afterwards how happy he was, it was the best they'd ever played etc. But they weren't as good as us.

Thank God we're not playing this weekend though. I do love it but I also need some time to do some other stuff like go to the Wasen and spend some quality time

We Don't Need No Education

2007-04-17T21:18:00.000+02:00

Inspired by a conversation Curlygirl and I had over Easter, the booksI have read off the BBC's Big Read List*. In green, books I've read, ones in pink are books I love

The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien only the first one- too bored to read the others!
Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
Catch-22, Joseph Heller
Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell. Am going to read this over the summert-1002 pages!
Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
Middlemarch, George Eliot
A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
Persuasion, Jane Austen
Dune, Frank Herbert
Emma, Jane Austen
Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
Watership Down, Richard Adams
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
Animal Farm, George Orwell
A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
The Stand, Stephen King
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
The BFG, Roald Dahl
Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
Mort, Terry Pratchett
The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
The Magus, John Fowles
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
Perfume, Patrick Süskind
The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
Matilda, Roald Dahl
Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
The Secret History, Donna Tartt
The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
Ulysses, James Joyce
Bleak House, Charles Dickens
Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
The Twits, Roald Dahl
I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
Holes, Louis Sachar
Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
Magician, Raymond E Feist
On The Road, Jack Kerouac
The Godfather, Mario Puzo
The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
Katherine, Anya Seton
Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie

* I have read a couple of Terry Pratchett's but I have no idea which ones they were. I think Mort and The Colour of Magic so the true figure is actually about 37. Not too shabby

Oh Eddie Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie Stein

2007-04-15T12:40:00.000+02:00

I read an interview this week online with the wonderful Eddie Stein which brought back some fantabulous (my new word) memories. Whaddaya mean you don't know who Eddie Stein is? Check it out here: http://www.barnetfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/News/LatestNewsDetail/0,,10431~1009443,00.html

Speaking of sport- running around a rugby pitch in 27 degree weather whilst wearing a black 100% polyester shirt IS NOT FUN. We went eastwards yesterday for a rugby tournament and one of the other teams was short of players so I went to play for them with a couple of others from my team. They had enough players for the position that I normally play in and when one of the other girls went off injured in the first game I took her place and played out of position. It was actually good fun playing for another team (except for getting smacked in the ear, having a very high tackle on me by some bitch and the bruises all over my knees and elbows) I gave everything I had (which isn't a whole lot) and played over 3 and half of the 4 games we had and although we lost all our games we didn't play too badly actually. Most interesting was the game when I played against my own normal team. Steffi was desperate to tackle me and didn't manage it- hah!- and even gave my team a penalty when she came offside against me.

Come to think of it I actually played football for a bit yesterday- during a game I was chasing the ball and was about a metre ahead of my opponent so I had no possibility to pick it up which meant I had to resort to kicking it along gaining some distance up the field until it finally went out for a line out. This was also done only with my left foot- quite an achievement as if I was a footballer I'd be totally right footed.

Born Of Frustration

2007-04-13T22:12:00.000+02:00

Scenario: friend at work (lets call her Leprechaun) asks me to install something on her new PC. It doesn't go right and I don't know enough so I have to contact the support team for the application. To cut a very long story short someone from the sub-continent tries to fix it for over 90 minutes with no luck and totally fed up so I call the guy.

Me: Hello is that XXX?
XXX: Hello? Hello?
Me: Hello this is Hazey
XXX: Hello? Hello?
Me: Am I speaking with XXX?
XXX: Yes this is XXX.
Me: So hi, I'm Hazey Jane, I need to know how much longer this going to take
XXX: Oh, is this Hazey Jane?
Me: Yes this is Hazey- let me just conference Leprechaun on the phone
***Leprechaun comes on the phone too and I am shocked that XXX is still on the phone***
Me: So is application installed?
XXX: Yes
Me: And does it work?
XXX: Yes
Me: okay let me try it
***I'd already seen the errors and knew it would not work. Point being he told me it did***
Me: It does not work. Can you get it fixed tonight?
XXX: I deinstalled then reinstalled.... hello?
Me: Yes- we're still here keep going...
XXX: I deinstalled then reinstalled.... hello?
Me: Yes- we're still here can you please keep going?
***You can already here Leprechaun getting huffy***
XXX: We have this problem (starts rambling on- you can barely understand the guy. I have no difficulty at all with accents but his grasp of english is just so poor I can understand my 4 year old sister better with her baby voice on the phone)
Me: Right well we need this to be fixed tonight. Can you do that for us?
XXX: errrr... shuey, shuey (rambling starts)
Me: Excuse me?
XXX: Someone in Europe had this problem yesterday too
Me: Okay but we need this to be fixed on this PC today.
Leprechaun: Look I need this this weekend- what can be done?
Me: What do you need from me to be able to get this done this weekend, do you need me to talk to your manager?
XXX: Hello.... hello?
Me: Yes, we're still here. Look- is there anything that I can do to help you get this fixed today?
XXX: Tier 2.... tier 2.... you have to log a call with Tier2....
Leprechaun: You need to log a call
XXX gets his colleague YYY to join us who can actually
YYY: Hello this is YYY (couldn't actually hear the name)
Me: Hello- can you fix this issue tonight?
YYY: We deinstalled then reinstalled...
Me: Yes XXX already told me that
YYY: And we need to ask Tier2...
Me: Yes I've heard that. What do I need to do to get this solved tonight?
YYY: Maybe you need to log a call with Tier2?
Me: No, there's no maybe about it. You need to do that and you need to ask them to help us solve this issue tonight
YYY goes away. We sit on the phone- I start trying to ask XXX something
XXX: Hello? Hello?
Me: Yes we're still here. ***I'm clearly getting nowhere and start to think bollocks to this, let's go straight to the manager now but I need the name of YYY***
Me: What's the name of your colleague please?
XXX: Hello?
Me: Yes hello, what is the name of your colleague?
XXX: Er...
Me: What is the name of the man who was just on the phone with us?
***XXX starts rambling and clearly has no clue what I'm asking him. I rack my brains thinking how else can I put this and my voice turns to dangerously soft***
Me: At the moment there is you, me and Leprechaun on the phone. There was someone else on the phone. What is he called?
***Colleagues around me listening in start laughing. I can't believe it either***
Me: We were four people on the phone, at the moment we are three. Who was that other man who was just on the phone?

***Eventually YYY comes back on the phone, he is at least able to tell me his name but can't fix the problem and cannot promise to get it done that day. I decide to get the manager involved, leave him a voicemail asking for a call back which he doesn't but at least he gets someone to fix the problem. I will call manager next week if he doesn't return my voicemail cos I am not letting this one slide. I personally find it totally unacceptable for companies to offshore/outsource jobs to cheap countries and to provide such terrible service back. I mean for fucks sake this eejit could not even understand 'what is the name of your colleague?' when spoken in my native speaker neutral accent. I have no idea how my colleagues in other european countries cope. Actually I do- they don't, they find it worse, they can't even understand the accent.

I call Leprechaun out of exasperation and she promises to buy me some beer ***

You Can't See Tits On The Radio

2007-04-12T21:48:00.000+02:00

Some alien appears to have logged into my blog account

So yeah- the Scissor Sisters were fab. Curlygirl and I were planning on just hanging around the back of the venue so we could get some dancing in but we bumped into our friend Soo from rugby who was stood right at the front with her friend so in the end we ended up about 5 rows from the front. We had a really good view of the antics of Jake Shears (I would fancy him like mad if I was a gay man) and Ana Matronic who is going up on my list of people to dress up and pretend to be. If you really wanna know, the others are Debbie Harry and the girls from the B52s. We whooped, shimmied, pranced, preened and hollered all the way through it.

As it finished quite early we went down to the pub in town to drink some more and bumped into some of the rugby boys. After the 2nd pint of Guinness of the evening (on top of the vodka and beer) the rest of the evening is a bit of a blur although I do remember seeing my friend Nick's beer belly- a sight not to be missed. Back at my place Curlygirl became the 3rd member of 'the wall of shame' and I'm not sure that I was 100% sober when I went into work today. I spent most of the day hiding behind my sunglasses and gripping on to the table as the waves of nausea came over me...

All in all- a great time was had by all. Curlygirl went back to England today and I am very sad.

THE SCISSOR SISTERS CAN KISS ,MY

2007-04-12T01:44:00.000+02:00

si it is 01.44 jin the mornign and i hafe just ome home fromteh sicorror sistes conmcert/ They were fantabulous as were teh after parety imn Biddys.

O got a set listit comprosises of:
She's My Man
Laura
I Can;t Decide
Tits Onthe Radio
Skins
LOights
Paul McCartney
Ksiss You oFf
Filtyh /Gprgeous (my fave sciss sisters gong)
Everybody Wants The Samne \Thing
ELand Of A Thousand WOrds
Treansistor
Comrforetably Numb

Take oYour Mama OPut
I don't Feel lie dancing

Take Your Mama Out

2007-04-11T15:56:00.001+02:00

Is there anything nicer than an SMS that says "I have dinner planned and will have it ready for when you get in"?

I love you Curlygirl. You're fab.

I Think I'm Turning Japanese

2007-04-03T22:23:00.000+02:00

2 things worth blogging about today- despite the pain in my sore finger

(1) Porn at work: The Grauniad's digested read (spoof of a real published book) today had me in fits of giggles and turning around to make sure that no-one was stood behind me reading it. Read it at http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2048715,00.html

(2) Danny Baker's daily talk show (BBC London, UK time 3-5pm) is normally good quality stuff and always worth a listen. Today's show was of a different calibre with tracks by David Bowie, Dodgy and an excellent phone in topic- phantom animal, people calling in telling their stories about brushes with ghostly animals.

I burnt the tip of my middle finger right on the bit where it hits the buttons on the keyboard taking cakes out of the oven. I decided to take my frustration out on dough rather than the wall again.

Late night addition to blog- I lied above. The other thing really worth blogging about and better than number 1 and 2 combined is 'My Life In Serious Organised Crime' by one of my all-time comedy heroes Mark Thomas as broadcast on Radio4. Do go and check it out. It is funny as fuck

Frankly Mr.Shankly

2007-04-02T19:35:00.000+02:00

I wish this yo-yoing shit would stop.

Yesterday am- 100% superduper hyper-excited as we were one of the lucky 175,000 to get tickets sorted for Glastonbury. Bring it on - I soooooooo need it right now.

Yesterday pm- totally pissed off due to being let down again by a so-called friend. I've written something out here 4 times and deleted it cos I'm fairly sure you'll read this... I'll leave it at this- given all the stuff I've helped you out with over the last few months- of course I'm going to be annoyed, that you don't realise this makes it worse and popcorn/beer MIGHT go some way to making it up.

Yesterday pm- go out with my rugby girls instead and have a brill time drinking beer in the sunshine, discuss what knob-ends (copyright Hoey, previously Catherine the Great- see I told you I'd use it!) then out for dinner at the Mexican for lots of lovely stodgy cheesy mexican food and Sangria.

Today find out whilst I'm at work that I'm being slagged off on the internet in a "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" type way- it's totally unpleasant and uncalled for and is making me feel like a total piece of shit. Ordinarily I'd deal with it a lot better but given that it feels like everything else that is going on in my life right now (plus the other gazillion things I've not posted on here like crap skin feels mostly negative this is the last thing that I need.

Give A Wham Give A Bam But Don't Give A Damn

2007-03-31T11:50:00.000+02:00

I had the most shittest day at work that I can remember in a long, long time. Basically I've been working on something for about two weeks now, finished it off and sent it to someone else to work on and then half an hour later someone called me and told me she'd undone a lot of the work that I'd been doing which I then spent the next FOUR AND A HALF HOURS having to redo and correct. She was crying on the phone when she told me so of course I couldn't shout at her which I really wanted to do so instead I bottled it all up and almost fainted/cried.

This week I watched Drop The Dead Donkey series 3 on DVD again which is the series that has all the classic "Gusisms" in it. So in honour of my crappy day I changed my MSN handle to 'Hazey- head/desk interface repeated motion situation' and present to you the following corporate bollockspeak from Gus, which insported my name change:

- Are we sniffing round the bottoms of the opposition?
- I'd just like you to stir-fry something in my think-wok.
- Morning hotshots! Are we cooking with napalm? You bet!
- There is just something I'd like to pop into your perculator, see if it comes out brown.
- We do rather appear to have an ongoing underwear entanglement situation...
- We've got to downsize our sloppiness overload.
- Could we interlock brain spaces in my work area?
- Coach, if I could input into your mental mainframe for a moment...
- Morning talent base! Are the afterburners on full thrust? You bet!
- Yes, well, publicity-wise this is a rather regrettable gonads in the guilotine situation.
- We're merely running our bulletins through the cappucino machine of innovation, see if it comes out frothy.
- Jill, could you come for a brief scuba in my think tank?
- Helen, if I could just park in your mental multi-storey a moment...
- You see, when it comes to sexual interfacing with the female gender group, I've always been caution-orientated due to ongoing problems of an adaptive nature regarding the gooiness factor on the physical front.
- Let's opperate a zipped-lip scenario on this one.
- Sorry, Helen, had a bit of a composure shortfall earlier.
- George, can we pool our brainspaces in a centre of excellence?
- I'm in major cellular rejuvination mode, fast tracking my way to eternal biological viability.
- From now on I'm going to employ relaxation techniques to turn off stress river and mosey gently down contentment creek.
- Problems are just the pregnant mothers of solutions.
- Today is tomorrow's tadpole of opportunity.
- I feel a very real sense that we ought to be wary of running any unsubstansiated stories if we're to avoid a faeces and fan situation.
- Yes, well, I sense we may be straying down tangent boulevard here.
- We all need to go on a forgivness curve.
- Look, Henry, if it's any help, I do have a sleep area over capacity situation.
- Look out Mummy, the snake wants a reproductive interface.
- The three of us can go back and get into some real pro active recreational interfacing...
- It's an anti verminous defecation deterrent. ("It's to stop pigeons crapping on the building")

Woah Woah You've Got The Best Of My Life

2007-03-29T20:10:00.000+02:00

Everything feels a bit weird at the moment- sometimes I feel so positive about things and then I get so depressed about others... I seem to be going up and down more often than a yo yo

Bad
- I've not been feeling well the last few days, getting another stupid cold again and feeling totally rundown even though I've got no reason to. Today I felt naseous, faint, shivery and sleepy and fully expected to collapse at some point today. At least that didn't happen.
- A friend of mine is leaving work and I'm sad about that
- I'm sad that tomorrow is Phill Jupitus' last gig on breakfast show on Radio6 (mind you, I still miss Fat Phill's Friday Mixed Grill on good old GLR)
- I really need to start sorting out the paperwork and life decisions that are currently cluttering
- My sleep is disturbed by the people upstairs- the ceiling is so thin above my bedroom I hear them talking and yawning for christsakes. I'm going to have to go up there at some point and kindly ask the knobend up there if he wouldn't mind going into the bathroom/kitchen/living room when he wants to talk to someone else. Thank god I haven't heard them shagging yet

Good
- Curlygirl is coming soon! So is the infamous Heather and her buddies!
- We are hopefully going to get our Glastonbury tickets on Sunday
- My ex-sort-of has got a permanent job at the company I work for and I'm pleased for him and his family.
- I am watching live rugby this weekend
- I should hopefully leave work soon (leaving date should be mid June, need to put it down for the boss and get approval)

I think I'm going to cheer myself up and call my oldest friend and her ickle babby and see how they are

In Other Words

2007-03-27T20:28:00.000+02:00

A general newsy type update blog or just some song lyrics?

Ah bollocks, I'm not feeling well at all and I'm going to spend the rest of the night feeling sorry for mysel on the sofa and I can't find the song I actually want to put on here so this will just have to do.

Wayne County and the Electric Chairs
If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby fuck off
If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby fuck off
I ain't got time for yesterday's news
Don't shoot me up with your bullshit blues
If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby fuck off

If you don't want a piece of the action, baby take a walk
If you don't want a piece of the action, baby take a walk
I don't like when you're playing with my knees
You ain't nothing but a prick tease
If you don't want a piece of the action, baby take a walk

If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby fuck off
If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby fuck off
You think that you're hot shit I heard
You ain't nothing but a cold turd
If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby fuck off

If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby baby fuck off
If you don't want to fuck me baby, baby baby fuck off
Baby, baby baby fuck off
Baby, baby baby fuck off
Baby, baby baby fuck off
Baby, baby baby fuck off
Fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off baby

In another words, if you ain't got time to talk a walk with me on my meat rack
Then you can just get the hell right out of my breadline
Yeah, fuck off baby

Baby You're The Skywalker To My Luke

2007-03-25T20:33:00.000+02:00

This will probably only make sense for the buddys that I was out with last night but here's the Goldie Lookin' Chain video for Your Mother's Got A Penis: http://www.youtube.com/share?v=wAZTLVJSlNw&embed=1

The Goldie Lookin' Chain website is at http://www.youknowsit.co.uk/lowtech/ and it is safe as fuck- go download some tracks and check out the other videos.

You knows it.